I was driving to the office the other day and there was a song on the radio that always makes me very emotional. I felt so grateful for my family and that I get to do what I love for a living. I thought of my daughter who loves animals more than anything. She’s been saying for many years now that she wants to be a vet when she grows up. Last week she asked me if she could get some horseback riding lessons. When I thought about how happy she would be to have the opportunity to ride horses, I really started crying. Being able to take good care of my children and make it possible for them to be their most authentic selves is the thing that gets me up in the morning and through even the worst days.
Something you should understand about motivation, is that some people are motivated by the thought of avoiding something and others by moving towards something. Let me give you an example. If a person who tends to be motivated by avoiding something is overweight and their doctor tells them they have to lose weight or they’ll have a heart attack, they will be very motivated to lose the extra weight. In the same scenario a person who’s motivated by moving towards something might set a goal for themselves: “When I lose this weight I’m going to reward myself and book a holiday to the Bahamas”. The rewards from achieving your goal have to be something much more appealing than the rewards you get from what you’ve been doing so far.
Another factor in motivation is that women and men tend to be motivated by different things. I’ve never been that excited about the idea of competing, winning and getting money for money’s sake. Women tend to have a more holistic approach to success. Peggy Drexler, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, points out in a 2013 Forbes Woman article that for most men success is about winning whereas for women it’s more complex. Women want to be valued. (From the book Think and Grow Rich for Women by Sharon Lechter.) We also want money for what we can do with it instead of wanting money just for the money itself. So if you are a woman reading this blog, you can now give yourself a break if you have been feeling like you’re not motivated or goal oriented or ambitious enough. You may have very well bought into the male definition of success and that doesn’t work for women. Man or woman, we should all find our own motivation, our own goals and desires instead of going after something that really isn’t our dream to begin with.
Have you found your true motivation? The burning desire that keeps you going no matter how many times the door gets slammed in your face? When you find the thing that sparks the fire within you don’t need to motivate yourself. You’ll be prepared to do even the most tedious of tasks because you have a vision for the future. That burning desire is usually ignited when you find something that serves a bigger purpose than fulfilling your individual needs. I grew up watching my mother give up on her dreams and sacrifice her gifts out of fear and insecurity. After 57 years of serving and loving everyone but herself, she died of breast cancer. I want my own daughter to learn by example that she can do, be and have anything her heart desires. You can probably understand why my burning desire is to empower women so that they have the courage and the self-love to go for their dreams.
Find what makes you come alive and go do it!
